So-called Acting Out Children

As a child care licensor I ran across at times child care providers who blamed the child. An acting out child elicited from some providers anger, blaming and speaking as though they were a victim of that child.

Some of those providers with that same anger kicked the child out of their day care. They wouldn't ask for help. It made me cringe.

I had the opportunity to hang out and work in an early childhood education classroom last year. There was anywhere from a few to fourteen children. Probably five of the fourteen were identified as having a special need.

The teacher treated all the children with respect, dignity and kindness. One particularly acting out four year old was a biter and scratcher. She worked with him consistently and methodically. He was speaking no words. At circle time when he acted out by throwing himself on the floor, kicking, biting and scratching, the other children waited patiently and unfazed in their chairs. It didn't take long and he returned to his chair; and we were back to singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round."

I returned to that classroom this week. I left at noon with a big smile on my face. This little guy's improvement was noticeable. He was speaking, joined in the singing and dancing and was making some contact. Another little guy with the same diagnosis (but didn't violently act out) also had the same improvements.

The teacher asked her assistant to work one on one with a new child who had acting out behaviors. The assistant made a derogatory remark, laughed, did some eye rolling and said ok.

The teacher called her out immediately on her attitude; and asked me if I'd work with the child. The assistant said she was just kidding. The teacher called her out again; and said, "You can't help a child with that kind of attitude and energy; and what if his parent had stepped into the room?" The assistant apologized.

I love this teacher and what she's doing for kids; and not allowing that certain unkind attitude to happen in her classroom.

Children are so wonderful, all of them and that some providers don't see that is very sad.